I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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