everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
