Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
