is your mom at the bar?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
