If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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