i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
