pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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