Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Randomize
