it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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