Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
