NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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