Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
PANTIES FOUND
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