I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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