you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
