considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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