U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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