ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
