I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
the day after is always just damage control
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
