Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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