ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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