You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
