One girl and one boy is just not enough.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
