Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
