i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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