well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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