Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize