in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
