your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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