I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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