I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
