its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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