I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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