i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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