He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
