drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
