problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
