Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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