Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
