and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
