you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
