how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
