Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
