Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
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