this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize