Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
