Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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