Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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