dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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