its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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