he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
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