I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
