that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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