Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
