I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I supernannyed him into submission
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
