But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
