look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
