We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
