Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
