wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
