would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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