No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
