i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
