dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
