In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I'm always down for nudity.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
