She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize
