Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
